I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
