Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
