can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we made out on top of his cat.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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