I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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