Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
