We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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