All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
