mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
