That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just found a bag of teeth...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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