I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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