ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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