After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
