if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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