I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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