Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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