How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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