Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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