I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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