omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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