Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
