Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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