sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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