Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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