Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
do nipples grow back?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
