how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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