You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
