I think I am morally bankrupt
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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