I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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