Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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