Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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