She's JV to your varsity
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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