Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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