This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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