I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
