What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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