Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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