He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
