it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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