so that wasnt chicken after all
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
