This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
