You work out of a Hotel?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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