got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
