He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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