The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
