I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
