next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
