im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
