people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
