We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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