erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
